Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thursday, November 3, 2011


Hi everyone

I thought it was about time for an update, and I've finally got my paws on the computer, so here we go!

First of all, I need to report that I have struggled through my recent travails, never complaining, and recovered from my bum pimple surgery (I had it done at the same time as I was getting my teeth cleaned).

Oh, the pain, the pain of it all!

I had three bum pimples removed, but fortunately my enormous, red, pulsating face tumour was already shrinking by the time I got to the vet, so we decided to let it finish shrinking itself. The vet found a third bum pimple to make up for it.

Right now it's the Spring Racing Carnival, where all the horsies get dressed up and run round and round a racetrack and all the humans get dressed up and get drunk and fall over. (My human went to the Melbourne Cup when she was living in Sydney and did a road trip with some friends - they ended up partying in the carpark and not actually going into the races - which is actually another race tradition!)

Before we moved to my new house kennel we lived close to the racecourse, and my vet is still right by it, so we had to schedule the stitches-taking-out appointment in between race days, or we wouldn't have been able to get near it for all the traffic.

This year I decided to join in the fashionableness of it all, and designed this highly desirable leg jewellery.

Now, some jealous people, for example my totally untalented human, may try to tell you that I somehow got a toilet roll stuck on my leg, couldn't get it off, and jumped up onto the couch for a nap, resigned to having my leg stuck in a toilet roll for all eternity.

Obviously this is not true, and if my human had the slightest bit of creative talent she would recognise that I am clearly modelling the latest in puppy princess fashions. And that I look fabulous. As always.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The puppy princess and the pea(rson)

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful puppy princess called Sasha, and she led a very difficult life.

Every morning her human would make her get up early and go for a long walk along the beach, and when they got back she would be forced to play chasing around the house games and then suffer through cuddles.

Her human would cruelly abandon her for the day, leaving her with only a choice of several couches, a bed, and a rug with a view of the back yard to sleep on. In the evening her human would return, and there would be another walk, then dinner followed by awful relaxing on the couch. Sometimes the puppy princess would be forced to sleep on the second couch under the heating vent, where it would all be warm and schnoozily.

Worst of all, at bed time the princess would have to wait patiently, sleeping on the couch, for her human to come and pick her up and carry her to the bed. Her human would put her on the end of the bed, and then the puppy princess would have to wait even longer for her human to get into bed and settle herself before the puppy princess could finally slumber away the travails of the day.

One freezing cold wintry spring night, Princess Sasha realised she could take no more of this torture and decided to take control of the situation.

First of all, she walked up to the head of the bed, and started digging beside the human's pillow. Then she walked over the pillow (and her human's head) to the other side, and did a bit of digging there. The puppy princess walked over the pillow again, and stood over the human's head, so the human could tickle her tummy from underneath. She did the digging thing on both sides again, and then stood over her human's head again, in the approved tummy-tickles-from-below position. And she stayed there. After a while her human moved her head off the pillow.

The puppy princess sat on the pillow for a minute, and then she lay down on it with her bottom on her human's shoulder. Her human was a bit cold, so she pulled the blanket over the puppy princess's bottom. Then Princess Sasha slid a bit further down, and her human put a bit more blanket over her.

Finally, the puppy princess had control of the bed! She had her head on the good pillow, and she was covered in blankets, and her human had to sleep on the edge of the bed with her head on the hugging pillow. And they slept like that all night.

The puppy princess's human thought the puppy princess would go back to the foot of the bed after a while, because the puppy princess had never liked being covered in blankets before, but she never did!

This is *my* bed now human - go find somewhere else to sleep!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

My new house kennel!

Hello everyone!

Sorry it's been such a long time since I've blogged, my human has been fussing over all kinds of kennel-moving activities, and kept on saying she didn't have time to let me use the computer. Pathetic!

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, we went and had a holiday for a whole week with my cousins Bertie and Oliver. Well, *I* did, my human was there every night but kept on deserting me during the day with some stupid excuses about moving house kennels and packing, and doing lots of complaining about it. Whatever.

Then on the Friday night she came home and did a lot of complaining about being exhausted and not everything being unpacked, and on Saturday we left Bertie and Oliver's house, and went to my new house kennel!

It's right by the beach - and not just any beach, but a proper doggy beach! (even though they do let humans on it, which doesn't seem fair - dogs're not allowed on human beaches...)

See, they are actually encouraging people to bring their dogs to the beach!

We get to see the dawn on our morning walks...

And there's lots to explore...

This morning we walked part of the way around Cherry Lake.

Then we came back home, and I spent some time in my garden...

... relaxing...

... inspecting the flowers...

... leading my human up the garden path...

My human's still getting used to the new ways to go to work - even though we're further away than we were before, catching the train takes the same amount of time as catching the tram used to, because it doesn't stop as much. My human's going to try riding her bike to work next week. She thinks she'll have to leave really early, because it's a 20km ride instead of a 5km ride. She's hoping she'll get all fit and healthy if she rides to work every day, but me - I just think there'll be a lot of complaining!

In the meantime, I shall sit at the bottom of the garden like a hairy little Schnauzer fairy!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Frosty Friday

Well, ok it was actually Saturday. But it's the first time this year we've had frost that lasted after the sun came out. It was under 3 degrees celsius (or, um, I think that's about 37 degrees fahrenheit. Celsius sounds a lot colder than fahrenheit).

I'd also like to mention that I only get to walk in the daylight on weekends. During the week it's still dark when we get back from our morning walk, and it's dark before my human gets home in the evenings.

But on weekends we get to sleep in a bit, and we get daylight for our morning walk and then we go out again at lunchtime.

The days are slowly getting longer again, soon it will be spring!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Movin' on up, movin' on out!

Hello everyone!

I've been trying to whip my human into shape, and I've managed to get some time on the computer.

We're going to have a few changes around here soon, and I don't just mean me changing from gorgeous...

... to utterly gorgeous...

My human keeps making lists and checking them twice. And she's been opening cupboards and putting lots of stuff into giant rubbish bags.

And she keeps saying mysterious things like "when we move to the new house kennel, you'll have your own back yard that you can go into whenever you want" and "we can walk on the beach all the time".

I'm not too sure how I will like living in a new kennel, because apart from the kennel I was born in (my breeder had a whole bedroom put aside for puppies, and a puppy run in the yard and everything), I've never lived anywhere but my apartment kennel with my human. I did like staying in my Grand(hu)ma's giant house kennel when we did our road trip to Queensland last year, and I like visiting my doggy friends who live in house kennels.

Obviously I'd like a larger kennel - my human wouldn't get under my paws all the time. And a kennel with a yard would be good too, I could spend my days schnoozling in the sun and digging things up.

My human says we will be moving in a couple of months, and in the meantime she is going to go through the cupboards and throw a lot of stuff out. I don't understand why she didn't throw all that stuff out instead of putting it in the cupboard in the first place...

Humans are weird.

The good news is that we had the Winter Solstice the other day, so now our days are getting longer again - since then, each day has been a few seconds longer than the day before. My human hopes this means that soon we will be able to have at least one walk a day that's not in the pitch black! (She has to bring a torch on our walks - in the mornings so the cyclists in the park can see us and not run us over, and in the evenings so she can see what I'm doing!)

Hopefully I will be able to get more time on the computer, now that my human is busy throwing things out. And now the days are getting longer, my human might be able to take more pictures of me!

Monday, May 16, 2011

I'm still he-re!

Hello everyone!

I finally got my lazy human off the computer! And it's not even as if we don't have a computer each now - she upgraded to a new one a few weeks ago, but she hasn't finished sorting out all the photos yet, and it was taking too long, so she just... stopped doing it! And I've got all these great photos of the Lost Dogs Home Open Day that she hasn't converted for me, and that was ages ago!

So I just wanted everyone to know that I'm still here, just suffering from Lazy Human Syndrome. All she does is walk me two or three times a day, and feed me and cuddle me and play with me. And then she disappears for hours on end, as if she had something better to do than stay with me and attend to my needs!

I have encouraged her to do some training with me, and even though we're not practising for Honey's Dancing with the Doggy Stars competition, I have taught her to give me the command to run around her. But I will only run in one direction - widdershins, which means anti-clockwise. My human says that means I am a witch.

Except that widdershins is only anti-clockwise in the northern hemisphere, and we're in the southern hemisphere so widdershins is actually clockwise here. Which means I'm really running deosil which is not witchy at all.

And none of that explains why I won't run around her clockwise.

I don't have any recent pictures of myself (that's one of the symptoms of Lazy Human Syndrome), so I'm going to leave you with the picture of me that my human has on the fridge...

Monday, March 14, 2011

My favourite hobby

Hi everyone

Today I want to tell you about my favourite hobby - collecting pats. I have a wonderful collection of pats, and I'm very good at acquiring them, too!

For example, here are all the pats I collected just today!

And a very good morning to you, too!
(It's never too early for a good pat.)


Heehee! That tickles!

A bit more to the left, please!

Hello - I know my Schnauzer friend Spinner doesn't mind if you pat me!

Just a bit more!

Ah, yes, just right!

Sure I'll shake paws, just keep patting!

Oooh, is there patting happening over there?

Er, you're patting me, not the Italian Greyhound behind you!

What do you mean, no more pats?

Hmmm... is Spinner getting pats over there?

I think he is, but now I'm getting a chin scratch.
(Look at my friend Penny The Schnauzer Puppy making faces at the camera!)

Oh, go on, you know you want to!
(Penny is still making faces!)

Look Penny, this is how you get pats.

That's right Penny, but you need to get in a little closer, like this.

Ah, yes. You smell nice, too.

I like chest tickles.

Hey, stop hogging the picture, human. I'm leaving...

Pats, please!

Er, excuse me! Down here!

Look how cute I am! You want to pat me!

I think the pats are starting to dry up - even Spinner's having to search them out.

Oi, human! Pat me!

My human wants me to mention that she does actually tell me off for jumping up, but firstly, I don't really jump, I just kind of stand up on my back legs with my cutest look, then extend my paw in gentle benediction. And secondly, all the humans say "Oh, I don't mind, she's sooooo cute, come on, up-up!" Naturally, I prefer to listen to them - it's all about pleasing my audience, after all - and I get more pats that way!