Friday, December 26, 2008


I really liked it today when my human sang Offenbach's Cancan, and made my rope dog dance to it, it was very funny and I laughed and laughed. Not so much when she tried to make me dance to it.

I spent Christmas Day at Tootgarook with my cousin Muffin. She's from the Miniature Daschund side of the family. At first I wasn't too sure about her, she's small but scary, and I think she felt threatened by my cuteness - well, who wouldn't? But then we played together and we had lots of fun. She kept wagging her tail and I kept trying to bite it.

Here's a close-up shot of Muffin.

This is Muffin's human, Amy, giving me tummy tickles (my favourite thing, after food and biting things) (though a shrewd puppy, such as myself, can multi-task and combine tummy tickles with biting the hand that tickles).

Which foot to bite first..? they both look so tasty...

It appears that my dear, generous cousin Muffin has a bone.

Quick, while she's not looking...


Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Me!

It's Christmas today, and that means I get to look cute (as always) in my special Christmas outfit that Aunty Freya bought for me, and helped me put on.

In this picture you can see how lovely and shiny it is.

I hope I get a lot of nice presents!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Good Puppy

I would never steal shoes if my human were to foolishly open her bedroom door for a fraction of a second.

And if I did steal shoes, I certainly wouldn't chew them.

Because I am a Good Puppy.

P.S. Do you like my new haircut?

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Psycho Puppy Days

Sometimes I like to play. And play and play and play. All at once.

When I do that, my human calls me Psycho Puppy.

Personally, I don't see it.

I prefer a quiet lifestyle.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Horses and hippos

My human's been keeping me busy, the last few days.

Walks every day, people over for lunch, trips to the pet supplies store for more Urine Off (I don't know why she wants that, the floor smells fine to me - and I can only improve it). Actually, I like going to the pet supplies store, the girls make a big fuss over me and give me treats.

We also went to Royal Park, which is just across the road, and about the right size to be my personal back yard. I wanted to go play in it but I wasn't allowed to. I can't wait to have my two injections so I can go play on the ground, there's so much down there that belongs to me...

On Sunday I went to Bertie and Oliver's birthday party, and I got to taste their cake, it was really yummy!

Today we went to learn about trains. I was a bit scared, but then I got a treat for being so brave, so I stopped being scared. Then we walked along the Moonee Ponds Creek bike path and I saw some ducks and a really enormous dog. I'm sure he was as big as a horse, and I don't even know what a horse is! He wanted to play with me because I'm so cute, but his human wanted to keep going, so we didn't play.

Then we went to Nat's place. It was a really, really long drive, but it was worth it. Her garden is very nice, and big, with lots and lots of plants for me to explore. In fact, there were so many plants, I didn't know which one to eat first!

I was having so much fun I went bounding up all the steps before I even noticed what I was doing. Then I had to figure out how to get down again, but I did it easily because I'm so talented, and also because I've been practising stairs at home with my human. I like the bottom step the best, I can do a really big flying leap from there.

I think Nat is a little disturbed. She kept making funny hissing and growling noises, and capturing my face. But she was very nice, so I let her. I got to show her how clever I am at clicker training, and how I can sit and stand and lie down and look at my human and eat treats.

Nat gave me this really cool blue squeaky hippo, that I played with a lot while I was there, and then later when I got home.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Sasha Hari

Yesterday my big cousins Bertie and Oliver came over for a visit. I learned a lot about doggy etiquette.

When I went over to their place for my party the other day, I gave them a visitor's gift of a wee on the kitchen floor, and a poo under the dining table. But when they came over, they had much better presents. Almost as soon as they had arrived Oliver wee'd on the kitchen door, and then Bertie vomited in the lounge and down the hallway. And then he vomited twice more during the visit. That vomit looked really tasty, and I bet it was - but those greedy humans wouldn't let me near it, they kept it all for themselves.

And then Oliver took me into my human's bedroom, where he instructed me in the fine art of wee-ing on the bedroom floor. I actually already knew how to do that, but I appreciated his instruction as he has much more experience in that than me.

Then I played games with my big cousins. It was lots of fun. First, I lured them to the kitchen door with my feminine wiles, then I took a run up across the kitchen, and charged through them and straight under the coffee table, where they can't get me because they are too big. Then I would attack them from under the coffee table, especially Oliver. I attacked his beard and his ears, and anything else I could reach, just like the dog I saw in the park the other day.

Sometimes I would charge through to the lounge room and scatter them, and then charge back through them just as they were starting to regroup. And whenever they caught me, I would roll over onto my back and say "I'm too cute to eat, I'm just a little puppy." Haha! They fell for it every time!

I hope I get a chance to play with them again soon.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

They call me Green Beard

I had a big day today.

First of all we went for a nice long walk. We met a cat who also likes pats, and who liked me a lot, because I'm so likeable. I didn't mind the cat. Then we met a Whippet, and then Jack Russell-Chihuahua cross playing with a big black Labrador. I learned a lot about playing with big dogs, apparently it involves jumping up and biting them on the face, over and over. I must remember that, so I do it right when I get to play with bigger dogs. Perhaps I shall practice on my big cousin Bertie.

Then we went for a drive to the pet supplies store. We went to Count Dogula's in Moonee Ponds to do some Xmas shopping, and buy a special ball for me. It's a rubbery ball with lots of big holes in it. I love chewing it. Here's a picture of me chewing my new ball and my other ball. They are both my favourites, and I like to chew both of them at once.

The nice lady gave me a Xmas present, and a special bling bag to put all my stuff in. Here's a picture of my bling bag with my new ball in the front, and my googly-eyed cockroach sitting on top of my big purple cushion at the back. I have so many pretty possessions!

We went to PetStock to get a car harness for me. I like PetStock, they give me lots of pats, and I got to chew on the counter phone. I'm not sure I like the harness, but I didn't mind it this afternoon when we practiced wearing it - it came with treats! We also got a bigger Kong - I had half of my lunch and half of my dinner in the Kong, it was heaps of fun trying to get the food out. I pushed it all over the floor, and round and round in circles.

On our afternoon walk, we went past an RACV man helping someone change a tyre. I wanted to get down and help, it looked awfully interesting. I think I might be a mechanic when I grow up.

Then I did some gardening in the kitchen - redesigning the turf. My human gets all excited when I wee on it, she clicks the clicker and gives me treats and extra pats, but I also like to play with it, and pull it to pieces and spread it all over the floor. I'm a great gardener, I have green paws. And green fur. And a green beard. Green bits all over.

I like to help sweeping up the kitchen afterwards, except when the brush accidentally bops me in the head.

I think it's time for a nice nap, now - I deserve it, I'm such a hard-working puppy.

Monday, December 8, 2008

In which Sasha triumphs over the day

Today I went to the V-E-T (I'm spelling it out so my human won't know what I'm saying and go hide). We went for a first check-up, and the vet said that I am alive.

Then she dribbled some bad-smelling wet stuff on my neck, then the receptionist came in and together they sprayed something onto my neck, and then they killed me with a giant needle! This is true, they actually killed me. They muttered something about a microchip being important, but I'm sure there's nothing important enough that they have to kill me for. I yelled and screamed for help, but in the end I had to save myself and not die. Then I got a treat and some special hugs from my human. That helped a bit. But only a bit. I deserve better than this!

After that, we sat around in a room which had a display case of kittens (I hope my human orders me some, I hear they are yummers), and some big, enormous dogs came in and looked at me. I ignored them, as a puppy of my pedigree should.

Then we went out into the back yard, and had puppy school. Just us and the teacher, at first, because we missed the class last week. The teacher said my human was doing everything right, which is just as well.

Lots of other dogs came in, of different shapes and sizes, and they all played together. I was still recovering from being killed, so I just watched. Except for when everyone was sitting still, then I went and found a white fluffy puppy my size and we went exploring for a little while.

We learned how to teach our humans to give us treats, just by doing simple things like sitting and standing. My human is so easy to control, I'll soon have her giving me treats for all kinds of things, I'm sure.

We had another play session, and the teacher kept accidentally dropping treats on the ground, so I did the best I could to help her out, cleaning them up whenever I could find them. I'm very considerate, that way.

When we finally got home, it was very late, and I hadn't had my dinner yet. I was very tired. I gave my human a very reproachful look. We schnauzers are very good at reproachful looks, there are instructions for it in the manual we get when we are born, so we get lots of practice very early on. Here's one I prepared earlier:

I finally managed to dine, and then it was onto killing the sheepskin rug - I dragged it all the way across the lounge to the bookcase, where I found a Yellow Pages For Dogs, which I dragged across the floor and killed a bit. Then I went back to killing the sheepskin, until I noticed the royal purple fluffy pillow that Aunty Freya made for me with her own hands, and I killed that for a bit. Then I decided to kill the big rope dog Maandavi gave me. It's very good for killing.

Then my human gave me some dessert. It was a bit big, so she broke it into two pieces. She said something about de-worming. So I killed it. I killed it lots. Both pieces. I took my time with them, and killed them all over the lounge room. My human helped me find all the little bits on the carpet, because it's wrong to waste something you can eat.

So despite all the murdering that happened to me earlier, I got to kill lots of things before I went to bed. And that means I win!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I am Sasha

Hello, I'm Sasha, and I moved in with my new human yesterday. She seems very nice so far, and I'm sure she will come to treat me in the manner in which I deserve to become accustomed.

Here is a picture of me, relaxing after a hard morning of killing a ball and fighting a sheepskin rug. As you can see, I triumphed over the rug, and it is now completely submissive.

This afternoon I went to a party at my Schnauzer cousins' house, there was lots of food and presents, and a new Schnauzer, as well as my cousins, for me to play with. And lots of humans. I bent them all to my will, and had them feeding me out of their hands. Today the sheepskin, tomorrow the world!