Sunday, February 12, 2012

World's Laziest Human!

Hi everyone

Sorry I've been quiet for so long, but it's totally not my fault! Oh, if only you understood what I have to put up with - my human must be the world's laziest ever!

It's always, "Oh, I'm sorry Sasha, but I don't have time to help you with your blog tonight, it just took me over an hour to ride home from work and then I took you to the beach for an hour and a half and I still haven't had my dinner yet, and you know how I turn into a pumpkin if I don't get to bed before midnight!"

And I'm all "Pfft! Like I care about your dinner, I've had mine, turn into a pumpkin if you want, human, just help me with my blog!"

So anyway, here are some things I didn't get to tell you about over the past month or so, which I may get a chance to tell you more about later, if I can get my human to be less lazy...

Dog beach - 30°C, 9pm sunset
Those glowy bits are the sunset under heavy cloud

Thank you JD & Max for the advent treat dispenser!

Front porch frog

We went to the beach once or twice

Tiger snake in the back yard!
A tiger snake tried to get through the neighbours' kitchen door, then it went into our yard

... the day before the dog door man came to give me free access to the yard. The man put a dog door in the laundry door and another one in the laundry security screen. He had to take the security door away to do it, and my human gave him a lot of paper money...

... and now I'm not allowed to use the dog door unless my human is home, and then I'm only allowed in the front and along the side after she's checked it for snakes, and I'm not allowed in the back at all...

... until all the lovely shrubbery and ground cover has been removed, so snakes will be less likely to hide there, and we will be able to quickly see if there are any there. I won't be too sad to have a lawn, I like lying in the yummy grass, and my human can make more paved area to put a table and some chairs in.

This is what it won't look like any more.

My human freaked out a little bit, because she grew up in New Zealand, where there are no snakes at all, and she has no idea what to do - she looked on the internet and found this...

10 signs your dog or cat has been biten by a snake infographic thumb
Image originally posted on

Because we have the coastal reserve near us, and because the weather's been really good this year, there's a lot of life happening there, and it's a good place for tiger snakes to live - and sometimes they go for a bit of a wander. Our neighbours have said they've never seen one here before, but I guess we'll just have to get used to the possibility.

My friend Penny moved house
She lives closer to us now, and look at her back yard! (no snakes there)

Feeding at the beach

Out for their morning constitutional

My friends Penny and Kiwi's humans gave my human some fish for her barkday

The black and gold is called one Racey, because it always races to the surface when they get fed. The goldy one is called Blondie, because while Racey is gobbling, Blondie swims around wondering what's going on. My human's not sure why the fishes wanted to be named after 80s bands.

I haven't tried to eat them at all, which surprises my human, because I tucked into her tuna & pasta dinner the other night when she left the room for a second.

I usually never try to steal her dinner, because I'm a well-mannered little puppy - even when we have people over and there's lots of food on the coffee table, I will wait at least a couple of hours before trying to steal the cheese, and that's only because none of the selfish humans have offered me any.

But I've developed a taste for fish - my human has salmon fillets* every week, and I always get a teensy piece after she's finished. And that's why I was forced to gobble down as much of that gorgeous tuna dinner as I possibly could before she came back into the room, because - face it - that greedy human was never going to give me a fair share.

* My human has salmon every week because she gets it delivered by Aussie Farmers Direct - she likes their service and the quality of their food, and thinks their milk tastes really good (it has no permeates). She says I should mention it because she's quick enough to complain when she doesn't like things, so she should be fair and say when she does like things. I always let her know when they deliver the milk and fish, usually around 3.30am, because it's important to keep her apprised of such activities.

Front yard guard duty
I take my responsibilities very seriously

If anybody dares walk past the front gate, I rush down and tell them off. At least, I used to, until...

My nemesis
It squirts water at me if I bark inappropriately

... which turns out to be more often than I'd like. The first thing I learned from it was to bark and then run behind the tree, so the water can't get to me as much. I don't bark at the fence nearly as much now.

Ok, we've gone to the beach most days

... especially in the evenings when it's hot and the tide is low - lots of sand to run over, lots of channels to paddle through - and I've even learned to swim!

So now my lazy human is grumbling about turning into a pumpkin, and she wants to go to bed. And of course she'll hog the middle and keep the pillows to herself, and I'll have to make do the best I can with just half the bed to myself and only the blankets that she tucks around me, and I'll have to snuggle my bum up to her face to keep warm.

Honestly, are humans really worth the effort?


Oskar said...

Hooray! I'm so very happy to see you again.

We all know how difficult it can be to train humans. We just have to accept their limitations & try to be patient.

I think it's very kind of you to let your human know when the milk comes. What if she happens to be thirsty right the?

Nubbin wiggles,

Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

Snakes really cramp your style, don't they? We've had a humid, cool summer...we're only now approaching a high of 30. The papers report lots of snakes around, so we haven't been to our favourite part of the river in ages. SHE's afraid of snakes.

We eat a no-grain salmon kibble, so we love fish too, and don't blame you one bit for helping yourself!

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Rubie and Poots (her Mum) said...

I am so upset for you....first she buys a house with a garden for you to romp in. Then she gets doggie doors installed so you can access the garden. THEN she says you cannot use your doggie doors!!! My heads in a spin for you Sasha my friend. I think it's a shame your mum is going to flatten the pretty garden and make it all pavers and grass, but if it makes her feel better?? She is only thinking of you, and how she would hate it if a snake bites you, I guess!

I hope you got spoiled over Xmas (mum says I did!) and that your human is happy and healthy (with all that bike ridin'). Oh and don't try and eat those barkday fishies either...mum won't like that.

Tell her your fans require a more frequent pupdates on your blog ;-)

Tail Wuggles, Rubie

Four Miniature Schnauzer Girls and A Maltese Boy said...

Hi Sasha, thanks for visiting us. Looks like your human isn't that lazy after all...she did help you to come visit us!

Unknown said...

Gosh, Sasha - with that magnificent post, I think you can hardly complain about your human anymore! She's more than made up for your hiatus!! I did miss you, though and it was great catching up on all your adventures! Snakes! Yikes!! And I think our Pyscho Neighbour Doggie needs to meet your Nemesis - maybe that will teach him not to bark-bark-bark constantly at everything & nothing!! :-)

Honey the Great Dane