Sunday, July 18, 2010

Our human, by Sasha Grumblebum Velasquez and Rupert von Rupert

Rupert: So, Sasha, I see Oskar's asking everyone to write about their humans this weekend. Seems like a good time for you to tell me about our human, seeing as how I'm a bit new around here.


Sasha: Sure thing, Rupey, what would you like to know? But before we start, perhaps, to protect the innocent, we should simply refer to her as "our human".

Rupert: Ok, but why don't we just call her Elizabeth? That's what everyone one else calls her.

Sasha: No, but the whole point is to... Oh, forget it. Let's call her "Elizabeth".

Rupert: So how long have you known her?

Sasha: My whole life - I chose her when I was just a teensy pup.

Rupert: Wow! So she's as old as you are then? That's really, really old!

Sasha: Actually, she's even older than that - more than 6 doggy years!

Rupert: And are we her first puppies?

Sasha: No, she had a doggie called Suzy when she was a little girl. Suzy was a beagle, and used to climb the fence then run and play in the bush.

Rupert: Did she have any other pets?

Sasha: She had a cat called Puss when she was a bit older, but she always remembers her Grandma's big, ginger farm cat, Dougal, from when she was a little girl. She loved Dougal!

Rupert: Did our human grow up on a farm, then?

Sasha: No, actually, she grew up all over the place - she was born in Australia, but moved to Canada when she was little. After a few years there, the family moved to New Zealand, where she finished growing up. Then she went back to Australia for a few more years, and lived in Brisbane and Sydney, before taking herself off to London for a couple of years. When she came back she moved to Melbourne and has been there ever since (except for when she was travelling in Europe or Africa or Asia).

Rupert: So what does she do all those times when she leaves us alone?

Sasha: Usually she goes to work - she works in IT. Some days she likes it and some days she doesn't, but she always likes coming home to us! Some evenings she goes to rehearsals for a theatre company - she does a thing called "Gilbert & Sullivan" - you know that singing that sounds like a dying cat?

Rupert: Oh, yes, yuck! She's not working on a show right now, is she? - Coz I don't remember my ears hurting recently.

Sasha: I found some pictures on her computer - look...

Here she is, making dying cat sounds.

Making dying cat sounds with Lily and Jasper's human.


Even more acting!

Rupert: With all that travelling and dying cat singing and stuff, why did she decide to get us?

Sasha: Well, she realised that she was spending all of her time rushing to work, being at work, rushing home from work, doing more work at home, and then falling asleep thinking about work. She decided that if she had a doggie then she would be forced to get some balance in her life - and it worked! Before she got us, she only got puppy kisses once a week, from our cousins Bertie and Oliver. Now she gets puppy kisses whenever I choose to give them to her.

Rupert: And whenever she comes within range of my tongue!

Sasha: Yes, you are a bit licky, aren't you...

Rupert: So I understand why she got me, but why did she get you?

Sasha: Actually, if you cast your mind back past the two whole weeks since you moved in with us, you will remember that I was here first. She got me because she wanted a doggie, and she got you because I wanted a doggie. You belong to me - so there!

Rupert: I'm your doggie? I think we're going to have to discuss that at some point...

Sasha: In the meantime, I have a question for you...

Rupert: Yes?

Sasha: Why did you call yourself Rupert von Rupert at the top of the post?

Rupert: Well you've got all those first names - Sasha Grumblebum Velasquez, and I wanted something a bit longer than just Rupert.

Sasha: But why did you use your name twice?

Rupert: Well, Rupert is a very refined and distinguished name, and using it twice makes me even more refined and distinguished!

Sasha: Sigh.


JD and Max said...

Hi Sahsa and Rupert,

Oooh, we don't think we've ever seen a photo of your human! You know, this game of Oskar's was inspired 'cos now we've got to see your human AND Lily and Jasper's human too!

So your human sings and acts - that is SO cool! We're pretty sure that if your human gets up on stage in front of other humans to sing she must sound pretty good. Ours is tone deaf - she was even asked to leave the school choir because she was so bad! So now she'll only sing in the car when no one else is around - except us! We TRY and cover our ears with our paws but it's bad, REALLY bad we tell you!

We totally agree that us dogs really help bring balance and purpose to humans lives. It's amazing that some humans go SOOO long without us. How our FH coped before we came along is anyone's guess really! We're glad the two of you are around to look after Elizabeth now. And hey, aren't human names funny? We've TRIED to train our humans to respond to FH and MH, but they're such a simple species they still insist on using their weird human names of 'Clare' and 'Neil'!!

Now, we've always known that your human belongs to you Sasha. We were intrigued to find out that Rupert is also yours - neat! We'd love to be a fly on the wall for THAT conversation that you have with each other, he he he!!

Schnauzer snuggles - JD and Max.

PS - we realise that you two are rather unique in the blog-schnauzer-set-up. Sure, there are a lot of us dual-doggie-set-ups out here, us for example, the infamous Bertie and Oliver, the pretty sister sets of Maggie and Lulu and Fatty and Ally . But within each of these set ups it's all boys or all girls. You two are the only two that we know of, schnauzer-wise, who have a girl/boy set up. We reckon this will enable you to give us exclusive insights!!

Nubbin' Tails said...

Hi Sasha and Rupert! Very nice to make your acquaintance. It sounds like you have a great human. We fur kids do a great job of getting our people to stop and smell the roses every once in a while!


Mr. Nubbin'

Oskar said...

Oh hooray, I loved learning more about your human and seeing the pictures. My mom person used to like acting, but she says she can't sing. If it sound like dying cats, I'm glad!

I've been trying to get my mom person to get me a puppy, but so far no luck.

Thanks for playing along!

Unknown said...

Ha! HA! HA! That is just the funniest post! I love reading the banter between the 2 of you...

...and although we knew a bit about your human, it was great to learn more! Wow - she's like my human Hsin-Yi in moving and living in lots of different places when she was growing up! I'm thinking my name is awfully short and boring...

Honey the Great Dane

Anonymous said...

Awww... You two are so cute! I love you guys!

Nellie, Yuchie, Calvert and Bailey said...

Well... it does seem we've been away for a while since JD&MAX forgot that Nellie is a girl and me Calvert, well, I'm a boy, an intact boy at that! We're going to have to remind them about this...umpfh!

Welcome to the blog world Rupert, we love your name and most of all we love your large head, we think it's very becoming!


JD and Max said...

Oh gosh - we're so embarassed that we forgot about the famous boy/girl duo of Nellie and Calvert *smacks heads with paws!* So sorry you guys! Embarassed schnauzer snuggles - JD and Max.